senior reflections: culminations of college, culture, and curiosity

the shock of huge literary theory anthologies crashing onto the floor during an intertesting but somewhat repetetive lecture; the ovewhelming mixture of nauseaufrom yet another assigned research paper coupled with the exuberating joy in knowing it will be my last; walking down the middle of 'caf-lane' and, with a pause, approaching the crowd of students busting outside of the commons area, reveling in the very unique, very isolated, and very creative ecosystem we inhabit; noticing that my nails have been chewed down to the skin, that my refrigerator has been mostly empty and that my car has become more of an armoir for my miscellaneous belongings;

i realize in all of these things that there's four weeks left of this spring semester, the final thrust of hard work, creativity, and making things stretch towards the achievement of that celebrated college diploma. there's a little less than thirty days until all final grades must be submitted, all bags have to be packed, all loose ends somehow tied up or jumbled into some different shape than they are now(or so i'm told that's what is expected)

have i tasted everything i could have tasted here? have i been the responsible student and leader that i aspired to be when i first arrived? have i invested in healthy, strong relationships with mentors, friends, and family to help prepare me for this transition out of my simple college life and into the bigger, even more glorious and open real-world? have i spent enough time in silence and solitude praying for wisdom, praising god for the ways he has shaped and taught me in this place? have i said thank you enough to the people who have given themselves, their time, their finances, their love to me?? have i save up enough quarters to at least get through a month's worth of laundry after i graduate!!?? will i miss writing literary analyses and discussing the importance of the narrative in the grander scheme of things??

i've experienced an increasing abundance of reflections over the last month or so as my mind and heart is preparing to leave this place, to finish this chapter, this paragraph even, and begin another portion of my story. i guess this not really beginning a new portion as much as continuing the complex narrative that has been in progress for the last twenty two year, the last two thousand years, the last billion years that we have all existed here and been seeking after the same thing...growing in our capacity as humans to know god and to love him and one another. i'm simply another character of an already beautifully constructed story that has been and will continue to move and change and grow...

here's to what could be the most intense four weeks of my life as a college student, here's to pereseverance, discipline, making good decisions, laughter, joy, unlimited gratitude, qualitye time with friends and many many cups of steaming hot earl grey tea :)