silence: an appetizer for the upcoming feast

after a dizzying two weekend of gypsy concerts, night-time motorcycle rides, a trip up the coast to Los Angeles, beautiful, breezy afternoons in the perfect san diego neighborhoods, and days spent in the presence of so many great, brilliant, delicate and beautiful souls, i'm chewing on a lot of mental and spiritual fodder.
brett dennen sings songs of celebrating being alive, of facing the big issues in life with suited with love and compassion, of living each day as it were your last...leonard cohen sings of love, lust, and god's will, the deep cravings of humanity...Christ taught his disciples that those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, who strive to be peacemakers and to show mercy, those will be blessed and will inherit the earth...sadghuru, the founder and guru of Isha Yoga, inspires people to accept responsibility for one another, to embrace the people of the world with love, to enable oneself to be limitless by simply cultivating a willing spirit to change, to increase human consciousness...

i've been digging these past few days, in my own introspection and in scripture...i'm forced to find silence in the stillness of infinite motion, much like the sleep of a spinning top (thanks to thomas hardy for creating such perfect imagery). there's constantly a whirlwind of movement and change, both surrounding me and deep, deep within me; yet along my journey so far i've been blessed to discover and to have learned a few beautiful ways to focus all that energy, all that motion and to find a solitude unlike any other i've ever before witnessed or experienced.

isha is becoming more to me than a faraway idea, a distant community, a new and very different form of yoga... the noise of life and existence has been extremely loud lately, caught up in the very zenith of growth and change, sprouting seeds of faith, love, song, projects, friendships, well-being... the discipline of doing isha yoga has brought me so much peace and tranquility, physically of course, but emotionally and spiritually my practice ensures that i have the time and space to sit and absorb, indulge, and become absolved in silence with my maker...

'the lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the lord, it is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. let him sit in silence for the lord has laid it on him. let him bury his face in the dust, there may yet be hope' -lamentations 3:25

so many of my days, my minutes, my moments of being alive and aware, have been spent steeped in prayer...before meals, before challenges, during worship, during gatherings of friends and families, in the midst of adventure and bliss, in the very darkest corners of sorrow and despair, in praise for things received or lessons learned and in the brightest of rejoice...it is what keeps me grounded, overflowing with his spirit, aware not only of myself but more of Him...

i'm expecting a great feast this weekend...but i'm equally expecting a lot of silence in respect and of maundy thursday, passover, good friday...i'm expecting a blinding array of celebration and worship as the sun rises again over this cold earth, the warmth of the Son lighting up the sky and the spirits in you and i...

cold fronts, bowls of pho, and urban ministry

i'm beginning to accept the fact that those tight knots we develop in the small crevices of our shoulder blades really do emerge from stress and fatigue...i spent saturday night trying to sleep on a concrete floor in the basement of Mid City Nazarene Church, still wearing the clothes (and shoes) i had worn all throughout the day's long activities. welcome back to volunteering at church...i spent lots of time this weekend listening to stories, singing songs, eating, andwaiting for instructions, but even more i spent time listening to myself, my thoughts and my emotions, ache and itch to be the center of attention, to voice my opinion, to take control of the situations.

i would classify myself as a good traveler, an easy-going free spirit, a pretty knowledgeable person when it comes to leadership, unfamiliar circumstances, challenges. yet more and more i am learning and gaining an awareness of how quickly my selfishness can surreptisiously emerge, how my pride and overly exciteable nature can squash my humility, how even though i may not give voice to it my minor discomforts and frustrations do take an incredible toll on my outlook, my attitude, my ability to step forth confidently and quietly lead others...

with the weekend came an incredibly overwhelming cold front...i tend to mimic a small creature of the tundra when this phenomenon occurs- i often sense myself becoming tired, aggravated, anxious and unable to concentrate on anything besides warmth... with the closing of the weekend came an overly extended vietnamese dining experience, which normally would have been fun and delicious, yet i found myself so disappointed at my below-temperature, below-standard, not-so-delectable bowl of 'pho' (fuh) and restless to move on to another more personally pleasing experience....with the weekend came an incredible glimpse of an incredible church that serves over 7 different cultural congregations whose doors are always open and even though the people, the buildings, the location, the resources are not as pretty and abundant as we would enjoy, there's such a dose of reality, of compassion, of community and of love there that all my meager and quiet complaints were silenced.

so despite the crick in my back, which i will learn to deal with, i guess i'm just refelcting on how much i can learn about myself, how strikingly obvious my weaknesses become when thrust into the midst of sometimes uncomfortable ministry and group dynamics. its just another opportunity to go inward and evalutate myself, to focus on the things that need to be recalibrated, grown, fed, so that i can be a better leader, follower, lover of people...

sombrero's and saguaro's

cactus in southern Baja grows as thick as aspens in colorado...cruising down highway 19, the proverbial strip of abandoned, desert road that one imagines of that old, mexican peninsula, i am dazzled by the vast sea of soft green prickly things. we've been chasing the sunset from the bay all the way across the desert and straight towards the pacific. our jeep devours the salt crusted,dry dust it kicks up from the rocky, unpaved road which we barrel down in hopes of finding the true path down the side of the mountain to reach some desolate beach with darkening turquoise waters...the sun has already dipped below our horizon, off to glow in some distant neighbors' eyes for another moment, and now those thick creeping cactus limbs stand out strong, like phallic fingers jutting out everywhere against the mellow sky, black and sharp like soldiers in the distance waiting for night's arrival.

mexico is very much a third world country, though in the midst of high end resorts and tourist appeal we often tend to overlook the strong dichotomy of the highs and lows of society. temples built to worship and and cater to the wealthy constructed directly adjacent to run down shantys inhabited by the poorest of the poor...there's beauty in even the darkest places though. children run through the streets with all the stray dogs, playing with their soccer balls or their favorite bicycles, families taking hours to share meals together in the warm breezes of a springtime evening...

baja is a breathtakingly beautiful place- the coastline marked with deserted beaches, rocky cliffs, small family haciendas selling a variety of carne asada and mariscos, and endless stretches of empty desert. la Paz is a relatively quiet city on the southern peninsula, much less oriented towards avid "spring break-ers" than the nearby cabo san lucas; however it has just as much to offer, especially for people willing and looking for a little off-the beaten-path adventure. the people are nice, running and walking down the malecon (the main street of town) during the sherbert colored sunsets eating their own ice cream creations and partaking in the generally slow, soft, warm personality of the city.

i see myself coming back to this place sometime later, for there's a couple coves that need to be explored still, and of course Pedro down at "Moyeyo's" needs to be visited for a plate of his best fresh ceviche covered in lime juice and fresh avocados..